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A Christmas Eve I could've done without - Dothan Eagle

A Christmas Eve I could've done without - Dothan Eagle

A Christmas Eve I could've done without - Dothan Eagle

Posted: 20 Dec 2020 04:00 AM PST

I was in high school in the mid-seventies. It was the best of times, and on Christmas Eve in 1974, it quickly became worst of times.

That night my friend Kenny Baker picked me up in his lime-green Camaro after I had finished dinner with the family. It was cold, and Baker's car seemed even louder and shakier than usual. We didn't really have a plan but I remembered that a girl we knew in Park Hill asked me to drop in. 

"Let's go to Rita's house," I said.

Rita lived in a large Spanish style home. Her dad was a doctor and there were a bunch of kids, eight or nine I think. Rita was my age while most of her siblings were older. 

We pulled up in front of the house and had to park on the street because the big driveway was full. The house was full of people who warmly welcomed us in. Rita's sister Carolyn handed us some punch and I went over to say hello to their father, who was arguing with his youngest daughter Becca about what album to play next. He wanted "Al Martino's Christmas Favorites," while she lobbied for "Endless Summer" by The Beach Boys. I left them to their debate and headed to the kitchen where I found Rita and her mother. 

After a few minutes Rita took my hand and led me towards the den. I looked back in the living room and saw Becca pouting on the couch as Al Martino sang about the red-nosed reindeer. 

The den was full of people and Rita pulled me towards the crushed velvet white couch. Behind the couch, on a table, sat an impressive and very large tropical fish tank, probably 65 or 70 gallons. Rita told me that the tank belonged to her brother-in-law and that the fish were supposed to be rare and expensive. I remembered the brother-in-law as the one who scowled at Baker and me when we arrived. 

Rita sat down and I turned to do the same, falling backward into the soft velvet. But the couch was perhaps lower or softer than I judged and my head snapped back, like someone had rear-ended me. I felt something firm give way behind my head, accompanied by a sickening, cracking sound.

I looked across the room at Baker, who was giving me a dirty stare because I was on the couch with Rita. Then his face changed to surprise as he saw the water from the fish tank pour onto my shoulders. One of the girls screamed "Oh No!" and Rita leapt from the couch. And the terrible truth rushed over me.

Chaos ensued and two of Rita's brothers moved to the ends of the tank to try and save the couch. I heard things like,

"He broke it with his head! 

"Who is that guy?"

"His head went through the aquarium!"

"Dad, come in the den, you won't believe what happened!"

The aquarium I had destroyed lay on the floor in front of the couch. I wondered why they hadn't taken it outside, but decided not to say anything. 

I stared as the exotic fish flopped on the soaked shag rug. People scrambled to save them and I moved in to help. But when I saw one get squashed by a boot, I went the other way.

Someone grabbed my hand and led me out of the melee. It was Rita. We walked outside and the last thing I heard was Brian Wilson singing, "Don't Worry Baby, everything will turn out alright." At least Becca was happy.

Baker followed, laughing uncontrollably. I hated Baker. 

Later, Rita would tell me that they were able to save the couch but that all of the fish eventually died, including three that had gotten stepped on. She said it was OK though because her dad never really liked the aquarium anyway. As time went by, the story became funny and Rita and I remained friends through college. But I never made it back to her house.

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